I wish I could say it ended in tears of joy and victory instead of tears of defeat and frustration, but I'm not going to tell you lies. I am crying...or wish I were crying...because I slipped up, again. Ok, well, I'm not bawling...I haven't shed in any actual tears...but that's because I didn't really "slip up". Such a phrase makes it sound like it wasn't my fault...like I fell and scraped my knee. I'm not crying because that's not what happened. It is my fault. I was faced with temptation, I fought it, but I didn't fight it fully and faithfully...and I lost...I gave in to temptation and lost the battle, again.
I feel so frustrated...so stupid...I can't believe I was so proud to put my temptation in a box...I set myself up for failure! *sigh* This is not a good way to start the week. Things clearly need to change.
To all of my friends, especially my sisters. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I flounder and fail and sin. I wish I could set a better example for you. I pray that you'll be stronger and more faithful than me in every way possible. To any of my friends who may feel semi-responsible for my present state...don't blame yourselves...It's my fault....though you may have been able to help in some way, I'm the one who failed....
I need to turn things around....
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