Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Anyway, it's been a bit of a tough transition for me...not knowing anyone...it's a bit scary...and I don't want to get caught up with people who won't be good friends just because I'm lonely...maybe I'll meet someone from Christian Campus Ministries, today. I hope so...and I hope that I can figure out what activities to pursue. I'm supposed to audition for the orchestra, tomorrow, but do I really have time for that? I was offered a position on the Vision Team for Christian Campus Ministries...do I want to pursue that? Would that be better than orchestra? Do I have the time and talent to really pursue that? Should I join the Nursing Students Association?
There are just so many questions running through my mind, right now. I wish I knew what to do...I think I just need to pick a comforter, and then, I'll be fine.
Before I left, I agonized over which comforter to adorn my bed with...it had to be just right...warm, fun, practical, comfortable, and big enough for my bed...At first, I worried about what everyone else would think of my comforter...worried that they would laugh, but I realized that if I went by someone else's opinion, I may actually end up with something that wouldn't be right...I realize, now, that the same needs to be true whenever I am choosing a comforter. The Lord is always there for me...He meets all the criteria, and now that I'm on campus, I really need to remember to turn to Him. I don't know everything, and I don't know a lot of people...but I know God, and He will provide for me if I trust Him. Being human, it's scary to give up control, but I never really had any...so, it shouldn't bother me to acknowledge the sovreign reign of the Father. On these nights filled with choices and these days filled with opportunities, I look to the Lord for my comfort, my strength, and my courage. Though I had to leave so many of my comforters behind, I have the ultimate one with me always. He'll make it all work out...and help me to be surrounded by others who embody the same love and can comfort me, too...Thank you to all my comforters...all of my friends...all those who have been praying for me. I love you all. *cries a bit*
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
I must be honest, I am scared. I've been crying a lot, lately. I just...can't seem to wrap my mind around leaving. I know, I need to go. I could list so many reasons for why I need to go, but...I'm still kind of afraid to. I know, it's silly. I f I know I need to go, then I should have faith that all will turn out well. I know the Lord is wiser than I am...I know He knows better than I do...I just pray that He'll let me keep my friends...that I'll remain close to them...that they'll still love me when I am gone...that this isn't really goodbye...but...I guess, it's not for me to say. I know they will all be in my heart, and I know that I don't want to lose touch with them. I love them all. I just pray that can remain the same.
It does make me feel better, though to know that a few relationships (those that are already long-distance) will remain unscathed. They will continue on just as they have been...so...not everything's changing...and God's love for me doesn't change. *nods* Right? *bites nails* I guess, I'm still a bit shakey on the actual confident departure stuff...sorry...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Anyway, I am so pleased to see how many other people are passionate about the value of marriage...and it's so kool to read/hear different people's views on the topic. I've really enjoyed that aspect of planning the retreat. So, I was really pleased to stumble on a post on one of the blogs I frequent relating to marriage...I thought I'd share...in case anyone shared my interest...
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Whoa! So much to do and literally so little time! I feel swamped with practicing, prepping, planning, packing....(today's post was brought to you by the letter "P") "Why so busy?" you may ask, "Isn't it summer?" Well, my dear, it may be summer, but I am still perpetually busy. I am not this way just to perplex you all, and I really don't think I bit off more than I can chew...I think I'm just plain tired. Perhaps I could remedy the situation by merely getting more sleep. I bet that's probably true. Anyway, the reason I am soooooooo well...swamped...is that everything is drawing to a close. The deadlines I have been working to reach all summer long are practically here. There's the girls' group meeting, tomorrow, that I must prep for, the Purity retreat that I am preparing to lead, this Friday night, the wedding that I'm playing bassoon at, next week, and then...there's *sings creepy music* the fact that I must finish packing before I leave for college in.......just under three weeks...*gulps*
Don't feel bad for me, though. I may be plum tuckered out, but I'm not crazy...I'm not in pain...and I know that the above paragraph was probably filled with unnecessary ranting. I apologize for that...I guess, the point is that I AM busy, but that I love all that I'm doing, right now. I'm pooped (I used the term for the "p", I'm not going to lie), but I'm not stressed out...surprisingly. I guess, when you pursue the passions that God has placed in your heart, when you follow His will regardless of what it may do to your schedule, He will provide you with the strength you need to carry on. He'll bless you with friends who are supportive and uplifting, he'll give you people who can and will provide you with assistance, and He'll fill your heart with peace. I suppose some may think I'm crazy...and some my say that this is just the fatigue talking, but I feel really close to my God, right now...not as close as I'd like to be...but definitely a lot closer than I've been in the past. Isn't our Lord amazing!
I hope that you all will be filled with peace as you prepare to deal with a variety of changes. Whether you're family has been uprooted or you are dealing with pain or you are merely having to cope with a new learning environment, I hope and pray that you will be able to feel the Lord's loving presence, that you will be able to see His glory through those that surround you. You have all been such blessings to me. Thank you for showing Christ's love and mercy to me and for helping me out, this summer. Thank you for not giving up on me...I know I can be a handful. You are all such blessings, and I know that the Lord has used each and every one of you to bring me a portion of the joy I feel, now. Thank you so much...*happy tears*...Remember that God and I love you.