Monday, June 05, 2006

I am a princess, dern it

When did princess start to be a derogatory term? I mean, when did it become in an insult to hear someone say, "as you wish, Princess"? I mean, I feel truly embarassed when someone calls me princess. I feel like they're trying to tell me that I'm selfish or vain or stuck up. When did that become the definition of a princess? I used to dream of being a princess. I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to wear a gorgeous dress and take care of business. I wanted to be admired and cared for and protected. I wanted to be special.

I don't think it's wrong for me or any girl to want to be a princess...or to want to be treated like a princess. I mean, each one of us is a princess. We are daughters of the King of kings. We are special and beautiful and precious. We should be permitted to feel special and protected and cared for. I don't think that's asking too much. I think that's exactly what is meant for us, and it breaks my heart to think that anyone would tell a woman that it's wrong for her to feel like a princess.

I almost cried at work today as I thought about all the girls I've been working with in The Sisterhood. This past Sunday, we were talking about how God made us beautiful and for a purpose. I heard the wounds the girls have suffered by the standards set by society...the way they think they have to look and be to truly be beautiful, to have guys think they're beautiful. It broke my heart because I could relate. I mean, guys are infatuated with supermodels and actresses and porn, creating another set of standards that the women in their lives can't attain. Knowing that men are so enthralled by those women, so obsessed with them, makes women feel inadequate and insecure. A part of us wants to pursue the standards for a Christian woman, but it's hard to meet those standards, and it's easy to doubt that they'll land you a man. So, women end up feeling torn, not knowing which to pursue...those who choose to pursue a Christian life wonder if they'll ever be good enough for their future husbands. We can't all have tiny waists and huge breasts. Not all of us are going to be practicing so that we'll be fantastic in bed. In short, we won't all look like models, and we won't all be able to perform like porn stars...some of us are...normal...and trying to live a life of can be frustrating and dismaying. The world tells us that we can't expect to find a man who isn't obsessed with porn...which means that we will marry men who will be able to compare our bodies and performance to "professionals". To be honest, it makes me sick. We shouldn't have to settle for that.

That's the thing. I'm so afraid that these girls...and I suppose myself....will have to settle. I'm afraid that these girls will learn to love God and wish to pursue purity only to find that their husbands didn't do the same. I'm afraid that these girls won't find real men. I'm afraid they'll find men pretending to be good and godly. I'm afraid they won't find men that will love them as Christ loves them...unconditionally. I'm afraid they won't find men who will be truly captivated by their beauty and treat them as the precious treasures they are. I'm afraid they won't find men who will want to protect them. I'm afraid they'll go out into the world only to find men who use their strength to harm them...who use their size to intimidate...who use their power to control them...who will make the girls earn love...I pray that that won't be the case. I pray that somewhere in the world, God is helping young men to grow up into real of of who get their strength from who will love and cherish their wives and be amazed by the blessings their wives are...I want these girls to find men that are better than they could have dreamed of. I pray that God is preparing real men to be there for these amazing young ladies. (I suppose I pray that God is preparing one for me, too...but there's no rush on that ;) )

I do have faith, though. I have faith that God will fufill the desires of our hearts. I have faith that God is working all things for our good. I have faith that God has a magnificent plan for each of us. I have faith that God has good things in store for each of us. I have faith that it'll all be okay. And I KNOW that God is more than enough...He's better than any man...He's the lover of our matter what happens...whether I get married...or whether I find myself called to be an old maid, life will be good because God is in control.


Anonymous said...

I don't believe that "Princess" is truly a derogatory term. I think that under certain circumstances, it can have a bad connotation which can make it seem like a derogatory term. When a couple has a little girl, you will often hear them calling that girl "Princess". That is definitely not a derogatory use. People often have a bad association with the word when females get older, feeling that "Princess" means selfish and high-maintenence. I suppose it is the thought that, if that girl is a princess, what are the rest of us? The thought that that one girl is a princess above other women or other people in general, I think, is what makes it a derogatory term in modern society.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a princess or to be treated like one. Every female should be treated with respect, but a man should treat his special woman that he shares a relationship with as a true princess. That is the mark of a true gentleman and one who understands the true beauty of the fairer sex.
It is true that our modern American society has devalued women to little more than eye candy at times, and it often makes me ashamed to be a man. We aren't all like that, but it seems like a vast majority of men focus purely on the physicality of women and relationships and never take the time to explore their minds or their souls.
As terrible as we may seem at times, know that not all men are the same. Some of us still value women as we should and look beyond the standards that society endorses. You are beautiful, Takara, and you have a wonderful spirit and a caring heart. I've always thought that. You should never doubt that or compromise yourself to try and appease the masses. Follow God and your heart, and you will find all that you are looking for.

Anonymous said...

There are some men out there who are not obsessed with sex and porn and want you to have the perfect body. There may be few of them, but they do exist. Don't get your hopes down. I found one who is unbelievable wonderful and very supportive in everything. He could care less what I look like and when I exercise, he supports what I do unless it would be way to extreme and then he pulls me back from my exercise craze. It is possible and you will find one just like him someday. You are beautiful in everyway, and don't ever let anyone tell you that you are not. You are a Princess.

An anonymous (2nd anonymous) friend