Numb with Dread

Okay, here's a largely unoriginal blog, as I am going to steal lyrics to describe my thoughts and feelings. I was listening to music on my headphones the other day, and when this song came on, I was struck by a revelation and filled with dread at the exact same moment. I realized that this song pretty accurately describes the way I currently relate to my mother. I don't really feel like explaining...I feel like letting the lyrics speak for themselves. So, why was I struck with dread? Because it reminded me that my mother and I will have to have a rough conversation in the near future about what I'm going to do with my life this summer. I'm not so sure it will go real well...but...ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do...when you feel called to do so? Yeah...anyway, without further ado, the lyrics that blew my mind:

Numb by Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you"