Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Frustrated and Tired. Where do I go from here?

"Never underestimate my Jesus."

Just one of the song lyrics that entered my train of thought during the Ash Wednesday service tonight. Other lyrics and fragments of songs included:

"Search me, know me."

"Take my life and let it be."

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me..."

"Take my heart and form it. Take my mind, transform it. Take my will conform yours, to yours, O God."

I am tired...I'm tired of discerning the next step...what happens next...where to go for the summer...I'm frustrated because the answers I get from God are so challenging sometimes...they make my life feel so life seems so hard! But God never said it'd be easy, right? He just said we'd never be alone. I feel myself starting to soften up and surrender. I know I need to do so...let Him lead and all that. It's not easy, but it's best...and it's what I want. I want to be close to God. I want to follow Him. I'll just have to trust Him every step of the way because I can foresee some amazing hardships. So, I'm praying with all those lyrics on my heart that God will continue to work in me. To shape me and guide me and show me where and how I ought to go about all of this. It's horrible exciting. Praise be to God!

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