Sunday, October 19, 2008

It was epic and beautfiul

I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of anxious right now and have been biting my nails because I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. So much to do this week! So much to figure out and schedule and such this week! And my weird. I was really down about it earlier, and I think I'm just kind of overwhelmed by it. I mean, it was nurse, med passes, an injury, a sick kid, and a kid with breathing problems...and homework...and wanting so badly to spend time with friends. I'm exhausted. But it was a good weekend. I "missed" a lot. I wasn't in attendance for all of the chapel skits and shares and what not because I had to go do other things, but I feel blessed. The things I did see and hear were awesome, and I feel like God kind of wove together my weekend experience, if that makes sense. I learned a lot, though I didn't mean to. I learned a lot about love...and now have a new batch of ponderings on the subject. A sampling of what's on my mind: I felt unnecessary this weekend at times, but I was told that I was appreciated...that I made some feel reassured because I was there and had more medical training than others. It was weird to think of...that I could be like valuable to the goings on of the weekend without a real crisis occurring...but at the same time it makes sense. Also, I was thinking about God's love on the way home...and I was thinking about how sometimes we love people because they love us...and how that's not how God works. He doesn't love us because we love Him. He loved us first, and we definitely don't love perfectly. He loves us regardless...regardless of the amount or quality of our own love for Him.

I'm impressed I'm posting such a half-baked blog...but...that's apparently just how I am right now.

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