Monday, June 25, 2007
I guess today has just been a pensive day. Perhaps it’s because I finally have a day off from work, who knows. Regardless, the fact remains that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today. Most recently, I’ve been thinking about how you recognize “the one”. You know, how you know this is who you should marry. Now, I’ve read many books on marriage and gone to women’s conferences where such topics were discussed. Typically, the married women I know say that “when you know, you’ll know”, which is a long way from helpful. I know that God will reveal to me, in time, who I should marry and when, but sometimes patience is a virtue I don’t have. That doesn’t mean that I’m off getting engaged to every man I meet, but It does mean that I ponder and wonder and dream sometimes. Recently, one of my guy friends talked about maturity in a relationship being indicative of an impending engagement/marriage. My devotional talked about how many types of intimacy must be present such as emotional, spiritual, social, recreational, physical, etc. Now, admittedly, I don’t know what all of those types of intimacy actually entail; so, don’t quiz me on them, but I was thinking about intimacy, maturity and marriage…and how they fit together. I realized that my relationship with my boyfriend is not really intimate. Now, I don’t know what social and recreational intimacy are, but I was thinking about Adam and Eve and how the two were able to stand before each other “naked and unashamed”. I think that those words are powerful. I mean, to naked is to be vulnerable…to remove all your armor and show yourself in a raw and natural state. I wonder if perhaps that is what intimacy is…to be naked with one another. I’m not saying that means you need to be without clothing while you talk about your feelings or while you are taking part in some recreational activity or while you worship, but that you are unguarded and allow yourself to be truly vulnerable. Perhaps, a good indicator of being prepared to marry your significant other is when you can be naked and unguarded in more than one of those intimate situations and know that the other person will love you unconditionally, respect you and find you captivating…thus allowing you to be unashamed. Perhaps it also implies that you are so solid in who you are that you are unashamed to be vulnerable and naked before your significant other because you love yourself and your significant other and you are safe and secure in that love. I don’t know…I’m excited to entertain those thoughts some more. This I know for sure, though: intimacy in a relationship…true intimacy…comes from knowing a person well…knowing them intimately…knowing what makes them tick…knowing how they think...Perhaps that is why I feel more intimate with some of my guy friends than I do with my boyfriend. Not because I don’t love him or because I’m somehow cheating on him, but because our relationship is younger and is less mature…because we’re still learning about each other and figuring each other out. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see how time changes such things.